Inside some of the most entertaining hoops references in music.

Basketball and music have always had a strong intersection. Your body naturally responds to that heavy synth in “The Final Countdown” or the stomp-stomp-clap in “We Will Rock You” with excitement, and for good reason. Those songs have been played at possibly every basketball game in existence.

Musicians are aware…

Because hopefully, I’m not the only one replaying N64 classics right now…

If you’re anything like me, you’ve been taking this time of social distancing to revisit some nostalgic video games. Or maybe you’re being a productive member of society. Either way, I’m jealous of you.

Whether you’re getting things done or not, you’ve surely spent an afternoon or two playing Mario…

It’s hard to believe I ever completed a marathon. I don’t consider myself a runner. At all.

A marathon is 26.2 miles. 138,336 feet. 1,660,032 inches. I ran that distance!

Okay, I didn’t actually run the entire time. I hit a wall around mile 15 and shifted between slow jogs…

Is there anything more satisfying than the first bite of a bowl of cereal? You have the perfect blend of milk and cereal pieces, just waiting to be chomped. Like, nothing would make them happier than to cannonball into your mouth.


The second and third bites are pretty enjoyable…

I wonder how long until it’s rude to wake them up.

I’ll give them three more minutes.

Oh boy, is it time to walk yet?! I gotta peeeeee.

Ow! Was that glass always there?

Why do they look at me while I’m pooping? It’s so embarrassing.

Ooh, a squirrel! Shoot…

“Now for the grand finale! Bamboo will do his famous ‘roll down the hill’ trick!”

A dozen people stood before the panda pen. Bamboo gazed longingly over at Millie, his pen mate. Millie was the more popular panda, but it was her naptime now, so Bamboo took center stage. Millie…

“That’s absolutely it — I have had enough!”

Theo was fuming. If you looked closely enough, you could see smoke coming out of his ears.

“This entire place is riddled with incompetence! Everywhere I turn, it’s just one flub after another. How did anyone ever let you all in charge?”

“Say cheese!”

Can you remember the last time you actually said “cheese” when someone was taking your picture? I sure can’t. But it makes sense — saying “cheese” turns your mouth into a toothy grin, so you’re already halfway to looking like you’re enjoying yourself.

And now I’m here craving…

“Ooh, look how cute young Blaine is!”

“He’s got your eyes, Bethany!”

“C’mere, I just want to give him a smooch!”

The office crowded around my coworker Bethany. She had just given birth to a baby boy, who was making his public debut.

I always feel for the babies in…

Joey Held

Writer, voice actor, podcast host (Good People, Cool Things) | Grab my free 5-Day Podcast Starter Challenge Kit:

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